It's Good to be Bad - Disney Edition

A hero is nothing without a villain.  David and Goliath, James Bond and Dr. No, Austin Powers and Dr. Evil, Optimus Prime and Megatron, the list goes on and on.  But what makes a good villain?  Is it that they're "bad guys?" No, because as we learned in Wreck-it Ralph, the bad guy is actually the good guy.  Is it that they're so wicked that when they meet their demise at the end of the story, we celebrate?  Partially.  But aren't there movie villains that are so good, so great, that for a brief moment, we almost want them to win, instead of the good guy?  All you need for a movie villain, is a character that opposes forces with the hero of the film.  Simple enough.  But not all villains are the same.  The Walt Disney Company has created, or owns the rights to, some of the best villains ever to grace the silver screen.  So, without (much) further ado, here is my list ranking the Disney villains and antagonists from worst to first.

But, here's some ado (I'm sorry).  I cannot claim to have seen ever Disney movie ever.  There are a lot of them.  I have, however seen many of them.  So, included in this list are the movies I know I've seen, and that I can come up with the name of the villain off the top of my head, or at least know who it is.  So, even though I've seen Aristocats, Dumbo, and Oliver & Company (among others), I have no idea who the villain is, and even looking at the cast list on IMDb, I could not tell you who it was.  Other movies, mostly sequels, I just didn't feel it worth mentioning that villain.  So, like it or not, some of your favorite villains (though I doubt it) may not make the list.

So, here we go.


64. (Yes, we're starting with #64, deal with it)  The Varsity Team - D3: Mighty Ducks

  Why are they the worst Disney villain on my list, especially coming from one of the best movie franchises of all time, at least in terms of defining my childhood?  Because D3 was a dumb movie.  Sure it brought the Ducks back, but after playing in the Junior Goodwill Games, or Kid Olympics, being a JV team at a prep school and being in direct competition with the varsity team is a dumb premise, especially since you aren't even being coached by Gordon Bombay.  What makes this team a bigger joke, is that the goalie of the varsity team is the same kid that played Gunnar Stahl in D2.  Don't believe me?  Look it up!  Sorry varsity team, you lost it for yourselves.


63. Man - Bambi
  I've never really bought into the fact that "man"/unseen hunter is the villain in Bambi.  I mean sure, the first ten minutes of the movie when Bambi's mom dies are brutally depressing, and that is the hunter's fault.  But, how can you be a villain if you're never actually seen in the movie?  I mean, I guess that makes you a good hunter, so... fire away?

62.  Lemons - Cars 2

  As much as I like Cars and Cars 2 (because who doesn't love a Disney/Pixar movie?), the villains are kind of weak.  Sure, there was that lead Lemon guy-car-thing that changed the fuel and tried to kill everyone, but really? Old cars?  That's the best we got?


61.  Chick Hicks - Cars

  He's old, at least older than Lightning McQueen.  But, he's far from a Lemon.  Therefore, he gets higher billing than his sequel villains do.  Still though, he's barely featured in the movie.  You hate him, but you never see him.  While the competition for the Dinoco sponsorship between Lightning and Chick is the main drive of the movie, imagine if Sacha Baron Cohen ran the first race of the year against Ricky Bobby and then you didn't see him ever again, until the final race when they (SPOILER ALERT) both left their cars to run to the finish line.  Yea, doesn't work for me.  Although, the mustache grill totally works!

60. Madame Medusa - The Rescuers

   As a kid, I loved the Rescuers movies.  Bob Newhart's Bernard and Eva Gabor's Bianca, and then Orville
and Wilbur as the albatrosses, which introduced me to the word albatross - these movies were great.  However, as you'll see further down the list, Rescuers Down Under was so much better than the original.  When compiling this list, I couldn't even name the villain in the original.  I knew it was that crazy red haired lady, and that she kidnapped Penny, but the name was nowhere to be found in my overcrowded brain.  For that fact alone, she's towards the bottom of the list, despite the fact she used alligators to water ski.

59.  Master Control Program - Tron 
   Despite it's status as a cult classic, and probably a sight to behold in 1982, I'm sure I'm not alone in my analysis that Tron.... doesn't really hold up.  While Sark is probably the better villain in this film, he's ultimately a henchmen that doesn't stand alone from MCP, despite the fact that they're both played by David Warner (who will forever be Cal's henchman in Titanic in my mind).  Despite liking Tron, and the sequel, MCP was an ok villain for an ok movie, meaning he gets a relatively low rating.

58.  Ratigan - The Great Mouse Detective

   Another one of those movies that I probably wore out the tape on the VHS as a kid, yet, I haven't seen it in probably 15 years or more and don't really remember much of it.  I do remember being terrified of Ratigan.  Sadly, my lack of memory, and lack or time to find the VHS, and lack of working VCR, force Ratigan towards the bottom of the list.

57.  Ratcliffe - Pocahontas
   Not to be confused with the aforementioned Ratigan, Ratcliffe is that big burly guy dressed like Grimace that wants all the gold.  Ratcliffe is truly corrupt, singularly focused on being rich and powerful, and if he happens to kill a few Native Americans along the way, so be it, it's only collateral damage.  The sad part is, he's probably a relatively accurate portrayal of what a British noble would've been like upon entering the new world. Why is it that some of the best villains are British? Coincidence?  



56.  Yzma - The Emperor's New Groove

     I wasn't a huge fan of Emperor's New Groove and I don't really remember much of it, aside from the overly annoying parts that stick with you and become funnier as you think about them... like most of David Spade's material.  My favorite character in this movie is, by far, Kronk.  Not only is Yzma, Kuzco's nemesis, but she keeps Kronk down as well, and that's just wrong.



55.  Captain Gantu - Lilo & Stitch

   Lilo & Stitch came out right about the time that I was transitioning from watching Nickelodeon (back when it was good) to ESPN and "grown up stuff."  So, when Lilo & Stitch came out, despite how AWESOME Stitch is, I really didn't want to go see it... mostly because of how much my younger sister did.  But, it was a good movie, even if it did eventually mean the demise for one of my favorite WDW attractions.  So, all in all, Gantu is a good villain.  He's big, he's muscular, he looks like a whale and a shark at the same time. But really, he's just a stooge doing the bidding of the intergalactic council, so is he really all that bad?

54.  Clu - Tron: Legacy

  Jeff Bridges hasn't looked that good since 1982.  Although, he also has never looked like he was a made of plastic before, so I guess it's a trade off.  It may not have been received as well as Disney was hoping, but I really liked Tron: Legacy.  The Daft Punk soundtrack with the much needed upgrade to the CGI from the original, and the stunts and action made it a fun watch even if the storyline was a little weak at times.  What makes Clu an interesting villain is that he's the same person as one of the heroes, and essentially the father of the man protagonist.  It's also an interesting dynamic seeing as how Clu was a good guy, or at least one form of Clu, in the original movie.  When you think about it, Clu should get bonus points for corrupting (and renaming) the titular character and making him a bad(ass) guy.

53.  Queen of Hearts - Alice in Wonderland

  In either of Disney's installments, the cartoon or the Tim Burton debacle, the Queen of Hearts is an interesting character.  I mean, let's be honest... she's a playing guard that's a human and a villain.  She loves beheading people, and that's frightening.  However, upon further debate, I should have made her lower on this list.  Why?  Kingdom Hearts.  As childish as it sounds, it may be one of my favorite video games series of all time.  To briefly summarize, all of the Disney villains (with the help of villains unique to the game) basically terrorize the world.  So, Maleficent, Hook, Jafar, Ursula against the world.  Yet, the Queen of Hearts has no idea what's going on.  They didn't even include her in the plans, she's just holding court and trying to find heads to cut off.  If your Disney villain peers don't think your evil enough for their plan, you're not evil enough to be higher on this list.

52.  Queen Grimhilde/Witch - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

   If we were at a party discussing Disney movies, (as one often does, right?) I would feel completely safe in betting you $20 that you couldn't come up with the name of the evil queen in Snow White.  Grimhilde?! Really?!  I would also bet you $20 that you couldn't tell me what the Beast's name is in Prince form., and I wouldn't have to pay out a dime.  (It's Adam, in case you were wondering and want to bet your other friends).  Anyway, despite the fact that Snow White was possibly Walt Disney's crowning achievement in terms of film making, I've never been a huge fan.  Despite my previous post all about Disney princesses, I've never been a big fan of any of the princess movies, at least the ones featuring said princess as a main character.  Also, despite being terrifyingly drawn both in queen form and witch form, Grimhilde (because it's fun to say), I don't think is really all that menacing when compared to other villains.  I mean, all she really wants is to be the most beautiful person in all the land.  If that were such a crime, the makeup industry would collapse.

51.  Oogie Boogie - Nightmare Before Christmas

  The only movie that can truly be called a Thanksgiving movie (because it's about Halloween, and Christmas, so you have to average the two - think about it), is a cult classic.  I hate to be THAT guy... but I was never really a huge fan, mostly because I just don't "get" Tim Burton.  That being said, Oogie Boogie is a pretty cool villain.  He's basically a talking pillow filled with all of the fears of children.  That's a terrifying notion.  Plus, while I may not understand Tim Burton, in any movie, the clay-mation is pretty phenomenal.  Bonus points to Oogie Boogie for being a main-ish player in Kingdom Hearts, which made me soften my stance (a little) on the movie.

50.  Mother Gothel - Tangled

  Remember all of two posts ago when I said I wasn't a huge fan of Disney's movies with princesses as the main hero?  Yea, that more or less applies to Tangled too - although Tangled is a lot cooler than the older princess films.  Mother Gothel makes a good villain because on the surface, she's a loving, caring mother that just wants to keep her "daughter" safe.  But, deep down (but not that deep), she's vain, selfish, and a kidnapper.  And kidnapping is so not cool.


49.  Hans - Frozen

 Ok, we've cracked the top 50.  Are you still with me?  I didn't think so.  Hans, the handsome, charming, mutton chopped prince that sweeps in to save the day when the evil snow queen freezes all the land.  Except that (SPOILER ALERT) the snow queen isn't evil and the charming good looking guy is.  Is there really anything worse than a good looking person that turns out to be a jerk?  I didn't think so.

48.  Lady Tremaine - Cinderella

  They don't call her the "Evil Stepmother" for nothing folks.  What's worse: being the evil stepmother or a wicked stepsister?  Either way, it's brutal.  Thankfully, my parents are still together after 29 years (and 8 days) of marriage, so I don't know what it's like to have a stepmother or stepfather.  But, as Hollywood tells us (because Hollywood is always EXACTLY like real life) stepmothers are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad people.  In the case of Lady Tremaine, what type of person takes the daughter of their deceased husband and forces her into slave labor wearing tattered clothes and living in the corner by the fireplace.  I understand that it's necessary to set up the story, but it's just wrong.

47.  Lotso - Toy Story 3

  Lotso isn't really evil.  Don't get me wrong, he's the villain of easily the saddest movie of the Toy Story franchise (you're not human if this scene didn't make you cry).  Lotso is largely misunderstood, making him appear evil.  He was lost by his owner, found his way back home, only to find that he's been replaced.  Any parent knows that when your child finds their favorite toy, or favorite stuffed animal, you immediately buy another, just in case the original gets lost and you hope your kid doesn't notice.  But what about the original toy?  Wouldn't it be lonely without its owner?  You bet it would.  I totally understand where Lotso is coming from.  Except for that whole incinerator thing - that's pure evil.

46.  Charles Muntz - Up

  If Toy Story 3 is the saddest Toy Story movie, Up (specifically the first 8 minutes) is the saddest Disney/Pixar movie ever.  While, my favorite villain in the movie is Alpha (especially when his voice "breaks"), but Charles Muntz is the mastermind.  He's the classic evil genius, I mean, who else could figure out a way to make dogs talk?  Who could have so many dogs trained to be soldiers?  The twist that makes him out to be a great villain is that the entire first half of the movie shows him being played up as the hero.  He's like Indiana Jones and Charles Lindbergh all rolled into one.  How could he be bad?

45.  Blackbeard - Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
   Full Disclaimer: I love the Pirates franchise.  There, now that that's out of the way... On Stranger Tides was........ kinda weak.  It was great, in that Captain Jack Sparrow once again shined on the biggest stage, but compared to it's predecessor's was a small budget film - and it showed.  Plus, it was filmed in 2D and edited in 3D, and you can tell.  But, Blackbeard was a great villain.  One of the world's most notorious pirates becoming a Disney villain?  How sweet is that?  Having a villain that attempts to make the transformation from rum-running, pillaging plunderer to being a good daddy, is bound to bring in the bucks at the box office.  If not, we have Johnny Depp playing the best anti-hero ever.  A great villain is in control, and Blackbeard controls his ship's rigging with his sword. So, yea, he's a great villain.

44.  Tex Richman - The Muppets
  The 2011 "reboot" of the Muppets franchise was a long time coming.  Like in the movie, the world had more or less forgotten about Jim Hensons loveable puppets, outside of 4 year olds that love Sesame Street.  And Tex Richman was the perfect villain to try and thwart Kermit and co.'s attempts to reunite.  In this day and age of rising gas prices and renewable energy, a major business mogul with ties to the oil industry is not only the perfect bad guy for a Muppet movie, but the perfect bad guy. Period.  Plus, any movie that can get Chris Cooper to rap, is a good movie.

43.  Mor'du - Brave

    There may be nothing more frightening than a bear that used be human with fur the darkest shade of black, a mangled face, and is centuries old.  Add to that, unlike Merida's mother, he never turns back into a human, and quite frankly doesn't want to.  He's just content being a bear and scaring the living haggis out of people.





42.  King Candy/Turbo - Wreck-it Ralph

     "I'm bad, and that's good.  I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."  Right?  Wrong - at least if you're King Candy.  What type of man does it take to leave your own game to ruin a more popular game and then when both games get lost, completely take over a third game and completely change your identity in the process?  A villainous maniac - that's who!  King Candy is what I've only just decided to call a twist villain.  He's a good guy throughout the majority of the film, or, at the very least, he's not a bad guy.  And then, he shocks the world and becomes the villain.  You can tell he makes a great villain because he has a bad thing named after him.  Nobody wants to "Go Turbo."



41.  Syndrome - The Incredibles

   Very similar to King Candy/Turbo, little boy Buddy was spurned by the man he admired and ultimately the betrayal led him to become supervillain Syndrome.  This "Batman gone wrong" has become so obsessed with power that he wants to give it to everyone so that no one will be special.  If living on a remote island with unlimited money, futuristic technology, in an evil lair, with an attractive assistant, and mega robots doesn't make you a villain, I don't know what does.  There are occasionally those villains that you love so much, you hate it when they meat their demise.  Syndrome is not one of those villains, if he were, he'd be a lot lower on the list.


 40.  Denahi - Brother Bear

  Denahi is only a villain in the sense that he's the main antagonist.  He's not a bad guy.  Imagine if your brothers were killed by a bear and you believed you were tracking that exact same bear.  Why wouldn't you want to kill that bear?  I mean, come on, he killed your brother.  Besides, bear fur to Native Americans was clothing, and meat was food.  So.... win, win, win.  Well, not so fast.  What if that bear, happened to be your brother?  AWKWARD.....  Denahi is the first antagonist in this list where you just genuinely feel sorry for him.  Sure, I tried to make a case for Losto, but he deserved what he got (which was to be stuck to Sid's garbage truck - yes, that's Sid).  When you watch Brother Bear, you can't help but want to grab Denahi by the shoulders, hug him, and say "dude... that bear is your brother!"  At least he realizes it before he kills him.

39.  Randall - Monsters, Inc.

  Steve. Buscemi.  Need I say more?  He just has the perfect voice for a villain.  Sure, if a bad guy is going to be 8'12" and 500 lbs of pure muscle, he needs a Michael Clarke Duncan voice.  But if you're going for a sly, untrustworthy little weasel, Buscemi's your guy.  Sure, Waternoose is the ultimate bad guy in the end, but for the entirety of the movie, Randall is the guy that makes you cringe anytime he's on the screen.  Not only does he hate Sulley for breaking the record and being a better scarer, but his diluted vision of how to improve scare tactics by kidnapping children is insane!  Besides, what's more dangerous than a villain that can camouflage himself? 

38.  The Dog Catchers - Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco

  Sure, the first Homeward Bound was better, but the only real villain was the mountain lion... from that one scene.  While they're complete idiots, the dog catchers in HB2 are here for the long haul of the film.  As if being a dog catcher in a movie headlined by dogs isn't threatening enough, you then add the "blood red van" to the mix, and it's horrifying.  What's worse, these two guys don't care if the dogs they're chasing are pets and have collars like Shadow and Chance or are strays like Delila and Riley.  Poor pooches.

37.  Shan Yu - Mulan

  He's big, he's hun, he has a pet falcon, hollow eyes, a crooked sword, and a sweet fu manchu - all things that make a great villain.  What makes him an even better villain is his lack of dialogue.  Silent, but deadly.  I honestly don't remember most of the movie, but I do know he has lines, I just can't think of how many.  Like him or not, he's the main reason why the Chinese go to war, and therefore the inspiration for this:

36.  Si and Am - Lady and the Tramp
   Sure, Aunt Jane is probably the more prevalent villain in Lady and the Tramp, but how creepy are Si and Am.  The two Siamese cats not only look creepy, but they sing creepy.... and that's creepy!  Besides, they show up with the old lady, terrorize the dog, trash the house, threaten the baby, and try to eat the goldfish.  This was always the part of the movie that, as a young kid, I would always want to fast forward through it because I hated it.  That's the sign of a good villain.


35.  Ian Howe - National Treasure

  Sean Bean is brilliant as the partner-turned-bad guy Ian Howe in National Treasure.  While his villainy is overshadowed by how awesome the filmmakers turned Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, New York, and Boston into a conspiracy treasure hunt, Howe is that kind of villain you love to hate and you hate to love (aside from the hair... that's some nice flow).  He's so greedy and doesn't care about anything but the treasure.  Despite the fact that he was fairly shaken up when Shaw dies in the "alien" stairwell under Trinity Church.  While ultimately a good guy, Agent Sadusky is kind of a villain too, but he's really just doing his job the whole time.

34.  Monstro - Pinocchio

  In a story about a man who makes a wooden puppet that comes to life, gets nearly turned into a donkey, thanks to a fox and a cat selling him out to a big old fat guy, all the while said puppet is being guided by a tuxedo clad talking cricket, you know there needs to be a pretty outrageous villain.  Man. Eating. Whale.  Drowning, that's rough.  Burning alive, horrifying. Falling off a cliff, painful.  Eaten by a whale? What?!?!




33.  Jack Reilly - Mighty Ducks

   We've all played for, or played against those coaches in Little League, pee wee hockey, pee wee football, youth basketball, soccer, any sport really, that takes the game WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.  I'm all for playing to win, but coming from a kid who had more losing seasons in his career than winning ones (and it wasn't always easy), you play to have fun first.  Jack Reilly doesn't think so, though.  After all "it's not worth winning if you can't win big."  The real problem with Reilly is that he doesn't even have a kid on the team, so what's he really getting out of it?  Under no circumstance should a coach of youth sports run up the score "just because he can."  You shouldn't hold back on purpose (that's the thinking that brought us the "participation trophy" generation), but you shouldn't run the score up intentionally.  And what kind of sick twisted man blames a loss on a 9-year old Gordon Bombay and then 30(?) years later still tells him that he wishes they would the banner down from the one year out of the last 100 that his Hawks didn't win the championship?  Talk about a cake eater!

32.  Auto - Wall-E

  It's been a staple of science fiction since the beginning of science fiction - artificial intelligence.  Specifically, AI that, like in the Matrix, believes humans are a parasite.  Now, Auto isn't quite THAT bad, he(?) it(?) is still just following protocol and it's programming.  That last transmission cancelling operation repopulate was his/its final directive: don't allow people to return to Earth.  However, things have changed, Wall-E and his cockroach found a plant, so clearly not all hope is lost.  Unfortunately, AI doesn't understand that there's more to life than surviving.  I can't mention this movie, without a link to my favorite character.

31.  The Firebird - Fantasia 2000

  Remember how I said some of the best villains don't talk?  How about the Firebird.  I mean, it can't talk because it would ruin the idea of Fantasia, but that's irrelevant.  The Firebird comes from a volcano, destroys the entire forest, almost kills the tree fairy lady, and then dies.  That's pretty badass, aside from the whole dying thing.






30.  Clayton - Tarzan

   "You're such a hypocrite!"  That's what you're thinking right now, I know.  If the hunter isn't a good enough bad guy for bambi, why is Clayton a good enough bad guy for Tarzan?  First off, hunting is legal.  From Bambi's perspective, it sucks, but Elmer Fudd's a hunter and no one hates him!  Clayton, on the other hand, is a poacher... disguised as a bodyguard.  He's big, he's burly, he's British.  That makes him the perfect villain.  He also has this going for him, take Ratcliffe's face, and Gaston's body, and you have Clayton... it's like it was meant to be.  Besides, he carries a double barrel shotgun, he ain't messin' around.  His death is also befitting of a great villain, essentially self strangulation by accidental hanging - spares the hero the guilt, but gets the job done.  Another thing that makes him a great villain: Kingdom Hearts.

29.  Al - Toy Story 2

   Don't let the "I own a toy store, kids love me" facade cloud your judgment.  He's a monster, no way around it.  No decent human being would steal a toy from a kid after the mom says it's not for sale, regardless of how valuable it is.  Ok, so a lot of people might, but I wouldn't, so that means he's a monster.  Plus, you have to be a deranged individual if you willingly dress up in a chicken costume (says the guy that spent a summer as a minor league baseball mascot).

28.  Hopper - A Bug's Life

   Still with me? Why?! But thank you, nonetheless.  Bugs are creepy.  They're not scary, at least not most of them, but they're creepy.  They have too many legs, too many eyes, and they crunch when you (accidentally) step on them.  This is how Disney/Pixar came up with Hopper: "So, how do we make a creepy villain? Why not make him a grasshopper. That's good but it's not creepy enough. Let's give him a nasty scar and make one his eyes dead.  Then let's get a really creepy, violent sounding guy to voice him."  Thank you Mr. Spacey, here's your check.  When you think about it, Hopper is a slave owner.  Sure, the ants have their queen, and their princesses, and Flik (relevance?), but who do they follow orders from?  Hopper.  If the 1860s taught us anything, it's that slavery is bad.  You're bad Hopper, go away!

27.  Hades - Hercules

   He's the lord of the underworld.  He deals with dead people all day, week, month, year, century, millennium.  He's a god, but doesn't get to live on Mount Olympus with all the other gods.  Aside from having fire for hair, it sucks to be Hades.  So, can you really blame him for trying to kill everyone and trying to take over the world?  Not really.  But what makes Hades a great villain is that he's kind of justified, that, and he's voiced by James Woods.  Where I mentioned that Steve Buscemi is the perfect voice for a weasly bad guy, Woods is the perfect voice for a slick, backstabbing villain.  Disney, you nailed it.  Oh, and did I mention, he's one of the main conspirators in Kingdom Hearts.

26.  Doc Hopper - The Muppet Movie

   I remember watching this movie as a kid and my favorite part was Sweetums running after the Muppets and finally catching up at the end.  That has nothing to do with the Doc Hopper, but I felt like getting it out there.  Doc Hopper is basically a stand-in for Colonel Sanders, but Doc Hopper wanted to kill Kermit just for a set of frog legs.  I mean, I'm no vegetarian (though I don't eat frog, or fish for that matter), but its Kermit the Frog, Doc! C'mon!  First off, there's no meat on Kermits legs (when he has them) AND they'd be all soft and full of fluff, so they'd taste really disgusting.  Leave Kermit alone!

25.  Sid - Toy Story

   We mentioned him once already, but now it's his turn to shine.  Sid Phillips, the boy next door.  He's a crazed individual desperately in need of therapy.  Clearly it's not his parents fault since Janie turned out okay, but somewhere along the way Sid turn a wrong turn towards crazy town and got lost.  What kind of ten year old boy a) knows where to buy and b) knows how to use high powered explosives and firecrackers.  Nevermind the fact that he wants to blow up toys while doing it!  When I was 10, if I convinced my mom to buy me a toy at the store, the last thing I wanted to do was blow it up when I got home.


24.  Team Iceland - D2: The Mighty Ducks

  This is not hypocritical based on naming the Varsity Team last on the list.  This is justified. They're bigger, they're stronger, they have more facial hair.  Black is menacing, Iceland wears black, therefore Iceland is menacing.  They're coached by a guy named "Wolf" and their star player is "Gunnar" (who also can change his name and play goalie!).  They're the teenage version of the Soviet Union (hold your horses, I'm getting there).  Until Gunnar shoves it in Wolf "The Dentist" Stanton's face and congratulates Charlie with the mildly overacted "Good verk captain doock" (sorry, no youtube clip), there's no real reason to like anything about Iceland (except for maybe their trainer).  Besides, they still owe Gordon Bombay a beach ball!  I'd like to give THEM two minutes for... roping?  But, at least they taught everyone a valuable lesson: "Greenland is full of ice, and Iceland is very nice." (I'm very disappointed with the lack of D2 clips on youtube.  Feel free to address that, anyone).

23.  Madam Mim - Sword in the Stone

  It's been a while since I've seen this movie, but I believe I also wore out the tape on the VHS of this movie as well.  Madame Mim is such a good villain that she has an entire song calling herself the "Marvelous Mad Madame Mim."  What's more frightening than a crazy, cranky old woman with mystical powers that can turn herself into any animal ever?  Nothing!






22.  Prince John - Robin Hood

   He's a lion who's brother is king, but wants to be in charge, so he throws his brother off a cliff and then banishes his nephew.  Wait, wrong jealous lion brother.  Prince John's villainy is well documented and was well known before Disney took hold of him.  That being said, Disney's version is perhaps not as good a villain as other versions in terms of evilness, but he's still just as bad.  He steals from the poor to make himself richer, otherwise Robin Hood couldn't steal from the rich to give to the poor (that's good logic).  While Disney's Robin Hood makes the Sheriff of Nottingham a better villain, as inept and incapable as Prince John is, he's still the one that gets in trouble when Richard the Lionheart comes home, thumb sucker or not. (OOOOHHHH, THAT's why they're lions!)

21.  Shere Khan - The Jungle Book

  My favorite animal is the tiger.  They're just really cool.  They're big, they're vicious, they have awesome stripes, and when you spell it with two g's you get a really bouncy, lisping goof.  So, turning the best animal ever into a villain is great.  He stalks, he creeps, he chases, and he would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for that man's red flower.  Plus, he's British.  He has an underbite, which for whatever reason looks pretty evil.  And, if he scares Kaa (who's another bad guy) then you know he's a scary dude. 

20.  Ursula - The Little Mermaid

   Most women do plenty of damage with two legs, Ursula has eight.  She's black, and purple, and gray and all three combined look scary.  She commands two eels as her stooges, can turn people into shrimp-amoeba-things.  And, she can take people's voices.  I make my living on TV, because, well, I learned how to talk at age 2, but never learned how to shut up.  So, the thought of someone diabolically taking my voice is mind blowing.  Plus, she turned herself into a giant, thunder-booming voice, cackling beast with a trident and a crown!  She's horrifying!  Although, she was decent looking when she turned into Vanessa (maybe Grimhilde can take notes).  Bonus points for being in on the plot in Kingdom Hearts.

19.  Cruella de Vil - 101 Dalmatians

   Whether you look at the cartoon or the Glenn Close version, Cruella is frightening.  Just look at her name!  It literally says she's a Cruel Devil!  Her two-toned hair rivals Two-Face, her high fashion sense makes her snobbish enough that you can see where you think what she's doing is right, and her car is definitely a villain's car.  And, she drives like she's in Grant Theft Auto!  Not to go on a PETA rant, but if you're one to believe that wearing fur is wrong, the idea of wearing fur from a pet, dalmatian or not is just sad.  Now, if you can use dog hair like you can use the fleece off a sheet, that's a different story... but you can't (that I know of), so I don't care if you're seeing spots, forget about the dalmatians.

18.  Frollo - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

   He lives in France, but speaks with a British accent... yep! he's a bad guy!  From the very start of the movie it's apparent that you're not meant to like this man.  He chases gypsies, who you have no emotional attachment to, yet you feel sorry for them, he orders their arrest, chases the woman, watches her die, and then tried to throw her baby down a well.  On the bright side, it can't get much worse, right?  Well, it's not like the baby he was forced to raise, grows up and gets tied to a torture device and spun around in front of him while people throw vegetables at him for being ugly and he does nothing to stop it.  It's not like he burns down half of Paris looking for a gypsies.  It's not like he makes an ultimatum that if Esmerleda isn't his, she must dies.  It's not like he uses the aforementioned "son" and his former captain to find the gypsy lair and then attempt to burn Esmerelda at the stake.  No, he'd never do any of those things.  Except he did... yea, what a great villain.  (Footnote: If they were to make another live action Hunchback, there's no choice but to cast Alan Rickman to play Frollo).

17.  Meredith - The Parent Trap

   Remember in Mean Girls and Freaky Friday when all the guys were drooling over Lindsay Lohan?  That lasted long.... But before Lindsay's life became a three ring circus, she was a cute, adorable budding actress that pulled off one of the most impressive acting jobs I've ever seen from a kid her age.  What 9 or 10 year old can not only play one character, but two? AND use two different accents.  That's impressive.  Almost as impressive as how EVIL Meredith was.  As I mentioned with Lady Tremaine, I don't know what it's like to live with/in a broken household, but if I did, I'd imagine Meredith would be the bane of my existence.  Twenty something years younger than Hallie's dad (Dennis Quaid), she's totally a gold digger.  Sure she looks good, and she's charming when she needs to be, but that's what makes her so evil!  But hey, what do you expect from a girl who got her 12-year old molars early?

16.  Sanderson Sisters - Hocus Pocus

    The best Halloween movie of all time. Period.  The Sanderson Sisters epitomize evil, but yet, aren't very good at it.  Go figure.  Winnie is the most competent, but is cursed by such idiot sisters ("Just lucky I guess").  They're so easy to love because of how awesome they are, yet you know they're the bad guys.  You can't take them seriously, which is half their charm.  It's not their fault though, how else would you expect three woman who died in the 1600s to act when they're thrust into the 1990s?  How would you expect anyone to act when they're thrust into the 90s?!  Even their death is hilarious!  I mean, Kathy Najimy dies riding a vacuum, it's pure gold.  Plus, they sure can sing!

15.  McLeach - The Rescuers Down Under

  Finally, we get to the better of the two Rescuers movies.  Like Clayton in Tarzan, McCleach is a poacher, that's illegal, and wrong.  And he's not just after a whole family of gorillas, he's after the mother eagle, before her egg is even hatched!  How does this picture not choke you up?  He keeps animals in cages, including Frank, a skiddish little lizard who kinda makes the movie - unless you count Jake who's kind of the mouse equivalent of Steve Irwin. 
Casting note for live action film: Tommy Lee Jones


14.  Scar - Lion King

    He's a lion who's brother is king, but wants to be in charge, so he throws his brother off a cliff and then banishes his nephew. (Got it right that time).  Did I mention he's British?  Just pointing it out.  But, you have to feel sorry for him, from the time he was born he knew he was never going to be king (a good thing for people [less paparazzi], bad for lions).  He probably never got held up over the kingdom by Rakifi.  Just looking at him you can tell he's had a tough life.  Not only does he have a nasty scar on his eye (which came first, the scar of his name - think about it), but he's the only brown colored lion in the entire pride!  How does that happen?!  Even so, it takes a special kind of sick, twisted mind to toss your brother off a cliff and then 45 minutes later try to do it to your suddenly all grown up nephew.  But hey, at least in the meantime he had some time to leave the pride, get busy, and allow for direct to video sequels.

13.  Loki - Marvel Universe

   Disney owns Marvel, therefore Loki IS a Disney villain.  I wasn't overly sold on Loki in the original Thor, even though Tom Hiddleston was brilliant.  This probably had to do something with the fact that Thor wasn't all that great.  So naturally, when Loki was named as the main villain of The Avegners, I was skeptical.  Now...... not so much.  I mean wow, Tom Hiddleston is brilliant (did I mention that?).  You have to be a badass villain if you're going to survive Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye.  Oh, did I forget to mention this?  Kudos though, to the Avengers for saving the day without Spiderman.  Coincidentally, he seems to have quite a bit in common with Scar.

12.  The Soviets - Miracle
   Such a great villain because it's a true story.  It's not just AN underdog story, it's THE underdog story. Need I say more?

I don't need to, but I'm going to.  I don't even have to watch the whole movie, just watching this clip gives me chills and brings a tear to my eye.  If you're American, the exact same thing happens to you, I guarantee it.  If there's one thing I could change about my life, it's my age, I was born 8 years after this game happened, that's unfortunate.  Footnote: If a Russian compiles a list of best Disney villains, this movie is #1, but the villain is Team USA.

11.  Davy Jones - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest / At World's End

   It's hard to top the Soviet Union, but based on the purpose of this list, it's movie villains, not real life villains.  So, Davey Jones gets a leg up (even if it's wooden and barnacle encrusted).  His face is tentacles which can be used like fingers.  He has one hand that's a crab claw and the other that has more tentacles.  He's the captain of a ship that has a jaw shaped bow and can sail underwater.  The man-fish-demon-thing cut out his own heart, survived, and buried the heart in a chest on an island.  That's insane.  The only thing on the seven seas scarier than Davy Jones is.....







10.  Lord Cutler Beckett - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest / At World's End

   But Bronto, he's a short, whiny little twit that never actually fights anyone, how can he be worse than Davy Jones?  Well, he controls Jones, simple as that.  Jones does Beckett's bidding.  I'm a tall guy, I'm 6'6".  I envision Beckett as about 5'5".  Short people are feisty, they're used to fighting for things because they appear less dominant - not all short people, but many.  Beckett definitely has a little Napoleon complex going on.  Although, based on our chronology, wouldn't Napoleon have a Beckett complex?  Anyway, Beckett is a business man, business men are shrewd.  It's all about the bottom line (just ask Gordon Gecko).  For Beckett, it's all about getting control of the seas, it's just good business.  That means ruining Elizabeth and Will's wedding, arresting Jack, hiring Jack but stealing his compass, finding Davy Jones heart, and putting it in the hands of the King's best men.



9. Captain Hector Barbossa - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

    Before he became a good guy (at least as good as Pirates can get), he was the badass skeleton pirate captain of a cursed crew, and a ship he earned by mutiny.  He knows how to fight, he's a Pirate Lord, and he has a really big hat.  If the first time he turns into a skeleton didn't freak you out at least a little, then there's something wrong with you.






8.  Gaston - Beauty and the Beast

   He's a man's man.  All the girls love him, all the guys want to be him (there's a whole song about it).  He's jacked, he's a good hunter, he can eat more raw eggs than Rocky and Gaston does it with the shells on, he stomps around in big boots, he's hairy - there is nothing wrong with Gaston.  Until you scratch the surface, which isn't very deep.  He's cocky, he's arrogant, he's selfish, and well, he's a jerk.  There's a reason Belle through him out into the mud.  As fun as he may be to laugh at for the first 70 minutes or so of the movie, the last 15-20 is when he turns into a monster.  He's terrifying when he's on the castle and fighting the Beast (who's name is....?) and Beast refuses to fight back, although the weather and the decor of the castle add to the horribleness.  When his dorky little pony tail comes undone and he's unkempt, he has a crazed look in his eyes and you know things are going down.  Even being as tall as I am, I would turn and run the other way when it came to Gaston.  Until I realized how much cooler the Beast was, when this movie first came out, I thought Gaston was the man.  To like a villain, yet know he's evil, that's a sign that he's a good one.

7.  Racism - Remember the Titans

   Time to get real deep for a bit.  Remember the Titans may just be one of the best sports movies of all time, if not, certainly in the last 20 years.  There's no real villain in this movie, at least in the physical sense.  Sure, some of the parents are angry in the beginning, and then there's the "banana coach," the crooked referees, and Yoest's assistant that leaves the team.  But, the underlying villain is racism.  If this movie sets out to do anything more than entertain, it's teach.  Teach tolerance.  Working for the local minor league baseball team, I was assigned the task of escorting a visiting celebrity from the autograph table to the other events he had to attend.  His three kids were with him.  At one point he and the kids wanted to go see the opposing team's bullpen.  So, I walked them down there and the players were really cool about it.  One of his kids was really shy, and when one of the pitchers (who happened to be African-American) went to give him a high-five, the kid shied away.  Not thinking anything of it, the player laughed it off and said, "don't worry about it, we're the same color on this side," and showed him his palm.  At the time I thought it was funny, but it's rather enlightening.  Race is the same as gender, or hair color, or eye color, it's just a different coding of DNA.  It shouldn't play any factor in deciding social status, economic status, or opinions.  If someone is a hardworking individual, whether white, black, brown, blue, orange, or green, they deserve a fair shot at whatever they want to do.  On the flipside, if someone's a dirtbag, they're a dirtbag - it's that simple.


6.  Nazis - Indiana Jones Franchise

   Disney now owns Indiana Jones, so Hitler is now a Disney villain.  I mean, he probably was before Disney bought Lucasfilm, because let's face it, Hitler is a villain to everyone.  The nazis are arguably the worst thing to happen to this planet in the history of forever, so it's natural that they make a perfect movie villain.  That being said, the movie nazis always just get in the way.  They steal the ark of the covenant out from under Indiana Jones' nose, they kidnap him and his dad to get to the Holy Grail, and they all die before they can do anything with the relics.  Now, whether or not you think Indiana Jones is actually a hero, there's no denying that the nazis are the villains, and how can you find anyone better?

5.  Jafar - Aladdin

  He's tall, thin, has a narrow face, a twisty little beard, a cobra headed staff, and a turban.  He just looks evil.  Power is a dangerous thing, if you give a mouse a cookie... right?  Jafar is the mouse and the title "Grand Vizier" is the cookie.  Before you know it he steals your daughter, steals your throne, enslaves you, steals a magic lamp, becomes a cobra, becomes a genie, and the STUPIDLY gets imprisoned in his own lamp.  What an idiot!  But what a diabolical mastermind.  To intentionally prevent the princess from marrying and knowing that the loophole means if she doesn't get married, he becomes sultan takes a special kind of genius.  Sure, I get that it's his job, but still, it's impressive.  Plus, he's a main conspirator in Kingdom Hearts, so he's got that going for him... which is nice.

4. Captain Hook - Peter Pan

  My grandfather always calls me Peter Pan.  To him, I'm the boy that never grows up (except for in height).  He uses it as a term of endearment.  I'm not immature, but I like to think that "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."  That's why WDW is so cool, because everyone can be a kid, and it's encouraged.  So, that, is largely why Captain Hook is so high on the list.  Peter Pan is an awesome story.  To have an awesome story, you have to have an awesome villain, and they have one.  I said earlier that I really like the POTC series, but Captain Hook is the original "skeeziest sleeze of the seven seas." (RIP Bob Hoskins).  He dresses like a boss and he has a hook for a hand, you can't top that.  His only downfall is that he's afraid of clocks.  Now, it's not really clocks he's afraid so much as the crocodile that ate his hand and happened to swallow a clock.  But, at least in Hook, he's afraid of clocks, which is weird (can't find the youtube clip).  But Captain Hook is the man, it's plain and simple.  Plus, Kingdom Hearts.

3. Chernabog - Fantasia

  The silent villain theory applies once again.  He's a shadow monster, winged manbeast that makes up part of the mountain and when the sun goes down, the demons come out to play and they're all under his command.  Plus, his name is Chernabog!  I don't know what it means, but it's awesome and just sounds evil.  As a kid, I was always taken in by Fantasia.  It's a beautiful cinematic masterpiece and purely genius.  I loved the dinosaurs, loved the crocodiles and hippos, and of course Sorcerer's Apprentice, but even at a young age, those opening notes of Night on Bald Mountain would start playing and I'd be glued to the TV.  The only thing that would ruin it is when the sun came up and all the people started their candlelight procession for who knows what reason.  I WANT MORE CHERNABOG!

2.  Darth Vader - Star Wars Franchise

   Lucasfilm is owned by Disney, giving Uncle Walt ownership of The. Greatest. Villain. Of. All. Time. (sounds contradictory seeing as how he's number two, but I'll explain).  Darth Vader is the epitome of evil.  Even Obi-Wan Kenobi, his former master calls him a "Master of Evil."  They were like brothers!  If you don't get chills when you hear the famous breathing, you're straight up lying.  There's nothing more trustworthy, yet totally ominous than the sound of James Earl Jones' voice.  Tell me you wouldn't run away in fear if you hear that voice coming out of a half man, half robot like Vader, but totally do everything that voice said if it came out of a stately lion like Mufasa.  It's amazing.  But from the mask, to the control panel, the menacing boots, the cape, the helmet, the red lightsaber, Darth Vader is evil personified.  There is not a force (pun intended) in the galaxy that can top Vader (except for, you know, his son).  He's the type of villain that you hate him because he's so wicked, but you love him because he's just so freakin' cool!  If you were to ask 100 boys or men ages 10-60 if they would want to be Darth Vader, I bet at least 80% would say yes.  If you don't believe me, I find your lack of faith disturbing.  

1.  Maleficent - Sleeping Beauty

   We've reached the end of the list (Thank God)!  And we've made it to the worst of the worst, the most evil witch of them all - Maleficent.  Now, one spot up, I said Darth Vader is the greatest villain of all time.  I believe that, that is my opinion, and I should have him in the number one spot.  However, if I want anyone to take this list seriously, Maleficent needs to be number one (besides, Vader was around before he was Disney, so it's technically cheating).  Now, I'm not a huge fan of Sleeping Beauty.  In fact, I'm not sure if I've ever seen the whole thing start to finish, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate how perfectly wicked Maleficent is.  She poisoned the spindle causing Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) to, well, sleep.  But that's only the start of her wickedness, she can turn into a dragon! I mean, what?!  (Madam Mim can too, but that's besides the point).  Maleficent is so evil that she's getting her own movie, with Angelina Jolie in the title role.  That's how you know you've made it big.  Whether I like it or not, all Disney people agree, both on staff, and just fans, that Maleficent is the baddest bad guy or girl in the history of the company.  She's featured as the primary-ish villain in Kingdom Hearts, the teen novels Kingdom Keepers, and is the "frontwoman," so to speak, of the "Disney Villains" collection of merchandise, clothing, etc.  I guess when you dress in all black, walk as though you're gliding, own magical powers, and wear a headdress that looks like devil horns, you're bound to get a few perks.


Thank you for joining me on this journey through viciousness and villainy.  Bad guys are always the best part of the movie.  You can't really have a movie without an antagonist, and no one know that better than Disney.  I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it, and if you have any changes you would have made to my list, or if you'd like to agree with anything, I would love to hear any and all opinions!

Until next time, thanks for taking a look into Bronto's Brain.